Did you know that you have held the definition of beauty all along? I wish someone could have explained this to me somewhere between the age of 10 and 25. These years were filled with restrictive eating, body dysmorphia, over exercise obsessions, binge eating, emotional eating, constant body scanning, comparing and so many other behaviors that go along with disordered eating. I fell into the treacherous abyss of forgetting the more inside of me and all that I have to give, to receive and to learn.

I was always searching for the definition of beauty within myself. What does this even mean, to hold the definition of beauty? It means that you are more than you think, you are loved more than you know, that there is so much more to life and to the food that you eat.

It means that you are wildly more than you think you are and that there is an abundance waiting for you to experience, taste, to give and to receive.

The time I spent wishing I was in someone else’s body, some days, I wish I could take back. I would tell the younger me that the depths of who I am are just beginning to unfold, to take root and flourish. But since I cannot do that, I am here to tell you to trust me, to allow yourself to open your eyes to the more of yourself.

It has been an uphill climb since those days of disordered eating, to recreate my intention with food. Out of that has brought so much adventure, relationship, joy and wild abandon into my life.

I had to begin somewhere, the transition of running from food to drawing closer to it. For me it started when I began to see food as what it does for my body as opposed to how it satisfies a certain craving or mood. When I was immersed in such a thoughtfulness of food, it began to retrain the pathways in my brain responsible for desiring food and how I interacted with food.

Education was not the sole variable responsible for healing my food relationship.  I learned about nutrients and nourishment and how it plays interconnectedly with the rest of my body. This led to the knowledge of which supplements I needed to boost certain desires for eating and enjoying food again. I worked hard at restoring malnourishment and body systems that had been void of nutrients for so long.

The brain is not a separate organ that sits up there all alone. Thank goodness! So as I began to change the nourishment inside my cells, it rippled up into my mind and how I desired and interacted with my food.
It changed everything.
And it can change everything for you too.